


Happiness Isn't Here

by MissJanjie



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: F/F, Lesbian AU, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:35:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27275053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissJanjie/pseuds/MissJanjie
Summary: Jan was working hard at a New York job, making dough but it made her blue. One day, she was crying a lot and so she decided to move to Springfield, Missouri, brand new pals and new career. It happens to be where Crystal lives, but that's not why she's here...(crazy ex-girlfriend au)
Relationships: Crystal Methyd/Jan Sport, Gigi Goode/Jan Sport, More Ships TBA, Nicky Doll/Crystal Methyd
Comments: 11
Kudos: 9





	1. Crystal Just Happens to be Here

“Jan?” her coworker gently shaking her by the shoulder wasn’t enough to jolt her awake. So she repeated her name louder and shook her a bit harder. “Jan!”

Jan picked her head up, a piece of paper stuck to her cheek. The coffee cup next to her had yet to be touched and her briefcase was still open at her feet, only partially unpacked. “Huh?” As her eyes adjusted the world into focus, she remembered that she was at her desk, in her office, at work, rather than her desk, in her office, at home, where she had passed out last. “I’m awake! I’m good, I’m fine. What’s up?”

The woman arched her brow, but decided it wasn’t worth harping on the issue. “Right, anyway. Here are the updates on the Wilson case,” she said, dropping a manila folder on Jan’s desk. “And not for nothing, but you might want to look alive. Word is you’re looking at a promotion to junior partner by the end of the week, it wouldn’t hurt to do what you can to seal the deal.” 

It wasn’t clear to Jan if the woman had said anything else after ‘junior partner’ – a ringing started in her ears that drowned everything out. Her head started pounding and the room started spinning, she could barely focus on the muffin she grabbed and took a bite out of, hoping that it was just an empty stomach that made her feel so sick. When she did finish the muffin, she was relieved that her surroundings were now staying still, but it didn’t alleviate the knot in her stomach or the tightness in her chest. 

_Air_. She just needed some fresh air, that was all. She hung her blazer on the back of her chair and bolted through the office, only stilling to catch her breath when she was in the elevator. Having been up on the fortieth floor, it stopped a few times on the way down, making her start to fidget and bounce on her heels until she finally hit the ground floor. 

“This is good news, Jan. Why aren’t you happy?” Jan leaned her head against the wall and groaned. “Why can’t you be happy?” She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping that she’d feel better when she opened them. 

While she had calmed down, yes, she couldn’t say she was feeling much better. She stared out in front of her, at people of every shape, size, and color walking around, then further up at the bright lights, albeit more subdued in the daytime. Her eyes ended up fixating on one of the billboards animated on another skyscraper. It was an advertisement for some sort of ice cream, showing a woman in a peaceful, open space and taking an indulgent spoonful. It read, ‘where is _your_ happy place?’ and transitioned to another ad shortly after.

“Well, that’s a little on the nose,” Jan murmured with a roll of her eyes. But she did pose the question to herself – where _was_ her happy place?

 _Theatre camp_. Oh, how she loved and _longed_ for that summer, the one she might argue was the peak of her adolescence. Every day she got to perform, whether it was improv or reenacting songs and scenes from her favorite musicals. And every night, she got to make new memories of another, more intimate kind.

Jan decided to siphon whatever lingering serotonin she could from those memories as she stood up. She had only just turned to head back into the building when–

“Jan? Jan Sport?”

“Yeah?” Jan, at first, wasn’t sure if she was still daydreaming. She had to be, because the last time she had heard that distinct voice… _No way_. Okay, there were simply too many coincidences in a row for it to not mean _something_. “Oh my god, Crystal? Is that really you?” 

Crystal beamed brightly and nearly knocked Jan over when she hugged her. “This is so crazy!” When she finally let go, she took a step back to look Jan over – a lot had changed in the ten years since they had last seen each other. “And you got even hotter, crazy. What’re you up to these days?”

“I work there,” Jan pointed at the building behind her. “Law firm. Busy, boring stuff. What about you?”

“I was in charge of props and scenery for an Off-Off-Broadway show, but the run was cut short. It turns out, people didn’t want another musical about a historical figure. It’s a shame, I thought _Van Buren_ had potential,” she explained. “Bad timing, huh? I’m leaving tomorrow.”

Jan deflated as the sparks of excitement started tapering out. “You are? To where?”

Crystal’s smile weakened, a tinge of embarrassment in her expression. “Back to Springfield. I know it’s not as… exciting as Manhattan, but it’s where I’m happiest. Sometimes that’s what’s gotta come first, y’know? I miss being that happy.” 

The cogs were already turning in Jan’s mind. This was kismet, it _had_ to be. There couldn’t have been a more obvious hint unless it was a neon sign literally blinking in her face. “Absolutely, I totally get it. And good for you for prioritizing like that, I’m sure it’ll save you a lot of money too.”

“Definitely. But hey, let me give you my number. If you’re ever in the area, let me know. I’d love to catch up,” Crystal smiled, putting her number in Jan’s phone when the other girl all but shoved it into her hand.

“You certainly will,” Jan quickly assured, sending Crystal a text when she got her phone back so she would have her number as well.

### 

Jan looked at her phone, at the six missed calls she had from her mother, and debated whether or not she should call her back before her plane boarded. It came down to the choice of whether she wanted to be crippled with anxiety before or after she landed. At least if she did it before, she could take a xanax and sleep through the flight. So, on the seventh call, she answered. “Hi, Mom.”

“Are you out of your fucking _mind_?” Alexis shrieked. “Missouri? You’re moving to Missouri? I couldn’t even find it on the fucking map! I tried to google it and the first result just said ‘why?’. You were just about to get the junior partner promotion, what is the matter with you?”

“Cities like Springfield need people like me, Mom,” Jan explained. “There’s never gonna be a shortage of talented lawyers in Manhattan, but I could do some real good out in the Midwest. I already have a job, a place to live, everything’s fine.” 

Alexis muttered indistinguishably under her breath, trying to calm herself. “I just don’t understand why you would want to throw your life away for that shtetl. What does Springfield have to offer you?” 

Jan sighed. “You wouldn’t understand, I don’t expect you to… But this is something I need to do.”

“Alright,” she relented. “Text me when you land.”

This wouldn’t be the last conversation they had about this, Jan knew that. But as she boarded the plane, she was relieved that the conversation didn’t go half as badly? as she thought it would. She would still need a xanax, but at least she would sleep soundly.

For most of the five hour flight, Jan got the sleep she so desperately needed, and it wasn’t long before she began the tedious process of moving into her new house. She had surprised herself by deciding to become a homeowner, but she couldn’t resist how much further a Manhattan dollar went in the Midwest.

Jan had just finished up with the movers when she began to feel like she was being watched. She turned and noticed a woman about her age – perhaps a few years younger – leaning against the railing of the front porch, looking at her with an intrigued expression. “Hi!” She chirped to, who she assumed, was her new neighbor. 

She narrowed her gaze. “Are you a cop or are you in the witness protection program?”

“Neither? I just moved here from New York,” she explained. 

“ _Why_?”

She shrugged, looking around. It was a suburban neighborhood, similar to the one she had grown up in, but more middle class (and she was sure she was the only person with any Jewishness in their DNA in a twenty mile radius). The houses were both spacious and spaced out and everything was calm, if not a bit bland. “Change of scenery.” 

Her neighbor wasn’t convinced, but dropped it for the time being. “Right… What’s your name, city girl? I’m Jaida.”

“Oh my God. I haven’t even introduced myself,” Jan jogged over to her and extended her hand. “I’m Jan Sport, _so_ nice to meet you, neighbor.” 

Jaida looked at her oddly, but shook her hand nonetheless. “So what do you do exactly?”

“I’m a lawyer. I got this great offer at this firm by a _lovely_ Canadian woman, I simply had to take it,” she gave a clearly rehearsed answer. “What about you?” 

“I’m a student,” Jaida answered flippantly. “I actually gotta finish some work. Good luck with your Canadian lawyer job.” She went back inside before Jan could offer a response. 

Not that Jan was perturbed. She shrugged as she walked into her new home. “She seems cool.”

### 

“Once again, we are so excited to have you at our firm. We thought we received your resumé by mistake, to be completely honest,” Brooke Lynn remarked as she took Jan on a tour of the office. 

Jan had a bright grin on her lips as she looked around the office, admittedly only listening to every other word or so. “Uh huh, cool. Hey, is the cell service bad out here or something? It’s just that I texted my friend two days ago and I haven’t heard back from her yet, and I’m sure she’s been trying to reach me.” 

Brooke furrowed her brows in confusion. “Hm… No, that’s not really an issue out here. Anyway, this is your office. It’s no Manhattan view, but I think you’ll settle in fine.” As they left the office, her attention suddenly shifted. “Oh, Brita! Brita!” She flagged down a woman by the copy machine. “This is Jan, the Harvard-Columbia grad I was telling you about.” 

Brita stood upright, offering a tight-lipped smile. “Hi, so nice to meet you. I’m Brita,” she greeted and looked Jan over. “I love your Hermès bag, it looks real.” 

“Oh,” Jan tilted her head, “it is real. I got it on sale, though.” 

“Of course you did,” she muttered through gritted teeth. “What, exactly, are you doing all the way out here anyway?”

Jan had already become adept at handling this question. “I needed a change of scenery. Couldn’t be a city girl forever.” 

Brita’s brows rose suspiciously and her arms crossed. “Ah, yes, the standard NYC-Springfield move. You have any family out here? Friends?”

Jan blinked rapidly and cleared her throat. “Nope, not a soul. Just needed to start somewhere fresh. NYC isn’t as perfect as it is in movies, you know.” 

“I know,” she retorted sourly. 

Brooke clapped her hands together. “Well, I’m glad you two are getting along. Jan, don’t hesitate to ask if you need anything.” And with that, she had dipped back into her office. 

Brita watched Brooke’s office door shut before redirecting her attention to Jan. “Okay, she’s gone. So, why are you _really_ here?”

Jan frowned. “I… just told you?”

She huffed and rolled her eyes. “Fine, I’ll figure it out myself. I love a good mystery.” 

“Right… Anyway, I’m gonna go do work. You know. Because this is my job.” Jan slowly backed away, before turning on her heel and walking off at a normal pace. 

Brita scoffed, turning to look at her coworker, who had been watching silently from the next cubicle. “Can you believe that bitch, Aiden? Oh, look at me, I moved for a ‘change of scenery’,” she mocked the cheerful lilt their new coworker spoke with. 

Aiden rolled her eyes and shook her head. 

“Exactly!” Brita nodded. “Ugh, I’m so glad you see it too. I’m gonna crack that nut.”

### 

Overall, Jan had deemed her first day of work to be a success. But that was eclipsed by the fact that she still hadn’t heard from Crystal. To distract from her frustration, she stopped by a local bar on the way home, Pony Express. 

Well, ‘bar’ didn’t seem to be an accurate title, despite everyone seeming to refer to it as such. Aside from alcohol, it also had a kid-friendly menu that catered to the children that frequented from the soccer leagues that played on the adjacent field and their families. 

“Hi,” Jan greeted as she sat at the bar, though her eyes were fixed on her phone. “Could I get a vodka cranberry, please…” she looked up long enough to read the bartender’s name tag, “Gigi?” 

“Sure,” Gigi answered, looking Jan over as she made the drink. “Are you new here? I’ve never seen you around before.” 

She had yet to tear her eyes from the screen. “Yeah, just moved here from Manhattan. Got a great job offer. And I have a… friend that lives out here, but I’m still waiting to hear from her. She must be having phone problems or something.”

“No kidding,” the bartender hummed. “My best friend just moved back here from Manhattan, maybe you know her,” she joked. 

Jan missed the joke in it. “Maybe I do, what’s her name?” She asked, finally managing to look at Gigi, acknowledging her beauty in the back of her mind, but much more interested in her answer. 

Gigi chuckled at her reaction. “Crystal Methyd, she was there to do art for this historical play or something.” 

Her eyes lit up. “Oh my gosh, that’s so crazy! That’s my friend! I, um, do you know where she is right now?” 

“No… but I can tell you where she’ll be tonight. Our friend is having this party. You should come, maybe with me.” 

Jan arched her brow, a slight smile on her lips. “With you? Like, you’ll pick me up in your car and everything?” 

“Yeah… like a date. That’s generally what it consists of.”

There were a few beats of hesitation before Jan nodded. The more she thought about it, the more it seemed like the perfect excuse. “Alright, it’s a date.” 

A smile tugged at the corners of Gigi’s mouth. “I’ll pick you up at seven.”

By the time she had returned home, Jan had warmed up to the idea. If there was anyone that could get her in Crystal’s direction, it would be a close friend. And she and Gigi were strangers, surely there would be no hard feelings. She just had to play it cool and casual. 

Maybe spending the following two hours doing her hair, makeup, and picking out just the right outfit wasn’t ‘casual’ per sé, but it didn’t matter if she looked good enough to catch Crystal’s eye from across the room, like in every cheesy movie she’d seen (and loved).

“Hey,” Jan greeted as she made her way to Gigi. She took careful steps as she walked – her dress was tight and her heels were high, and it took a lot of effort to appear effortless. 

But it did seem to work on Gigi, who was struggling with the subtlety in looking her over. “You look… fucking hot.” 

Jan beamed brightly. “Thank you! Let’s go, we’re burning moonlight,” she said as she got in the car. 

“Who _says_ that?” She murmured to herself as she got in and drove them to the party. 

The party was already well-populated by the time of their arrival, allowing them to seamlessly blend in. Despite the party being hosted by one of Gigi’s friends, Jan was the one smiling and waving at anyone she made eye contact with, while Gigi kept more to herself. They managed to get drinks and find a spot to stand and chat in, though Jan’s attention was divided.

“What are you looking for?” Gigi asked after the third or fourth time she noticed Jan not listening. “Crystal? Why are you so worried about finding her, you have a thing with her or something?”

Jan snapped back to attention, shaking her head hard enough for her ponytail to swish about. “No, no, no, it’s nothing like that. We were just such good friends and I haven’t seen her in ages, and it’ll be great to surprise her, that’s all.” 

While not entirely convinced, Gigi decided to drop it at that, mostly because she’d received a text that distracted her. “Oh, speak of the devil, guess who just texted me,” she remarked as she looked at her screen. “Looks like she’s not gonna make it here, though. Her girlfriend looped her into a family thing.”

That one word made Jan’s heart sink into the pit of her stomach and she had to blink away the tears of frustration and sadness that threatened to make a sudden appearance. “I’m sorry, did you say ‘girlfriend’?”

The suspicions Gigi had started to grow from Jan’s crestfallen reaction, but she answered nonetheless. “Yeah, they’re high school sweethearts, kinda went on and off in college, I think. They took a break when Crystal moved to New York, but they’ve been back together for… I don’t know, a couple months? Not really on my list of primary concerns.”

“They’re high school sweethearts, that’s so sweet,” Jan said in a breathy gasp, as if she were forcing the words out of an unwilling mouth. 

“Are you okay?” Gigi asked, putting her free hand on Jan’s upper arm to steady her. “You seem upset.”

Jan set her drink down on a nearby table and took a breath. “Me? Upset? No, I’m _totally_ fine. I’m just… surprised. That’s all.”

“Really? Because if you have feelings for Crystal or something, it’s–”

Jan cut Gigi off by cupping her face and kissing her. Much to her relief, she felt the other girl relax into the contact. She dragged the kiss out for another moment or so before letting go and standing upright, trying to read her face to see if she had been convincing enough. 

“Okay,” Gigi chuckled softly. “Not upset. Point taken.” She shoved her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket as she tried to figure out what was supposed to happen next. “Do you wanna… go find some snacks or something?”

“Actually,” Jan clapped her hands together, “why don’t we get out of here and go back to my place?”

At this point, Gigi had given up on questioning Jan’s answers. She found her odd and somewhat over the top, but it intrigued her, it kept her hooked. “Sure, tonight’s been weird enough, might as well see how this ends up.” She linked arms with her and they walked back out of the house.

The car ride consisted mainly of Jan relying on every flirtation method she knew – she played with Gigi’s hair, rested her hand on her thigh, anything to keep her from asking too many questions. And once they had arrived and promptly relocated to Jan’s bedroom, things escalated quickly. They were making out heavily, limbs interlocked and hands roaming each other’s body. But through the moans, Gigi noticed something that took her right out of the moment. “Are you crying?” 

Jan sniffled and wiped her eyes as subtly as she could manage. “What? No, it… it’s just allergies, honestly,” she assured despite her lower lip trembling. 

“Yeah, no, I’m out,” Gigi pushed herself off the bed. “You’ve got something going on, clearly. Maybe we’ll try this again another time. Or not. Who knows? Anyway, um, goodnight.” With that, she turned on her heel and left, despite Jan’s protests and insistence that she was fine. 

“Fuck…” Jan groaned and flopped onto the bed once she was alone.

### 

Jan had been hoping to distract herself from the last night when she got to work that morning. And at first, things seemed to be going well. But barely a couple hours into the day, she found herself cornered into the break room by Brita. “Oh god, now what?” she groaned. 

“Don’t you take that tone with me, little girl. I’ve got you all figured out,” Brita smirked. “I know all about Crystal Methyd, how you’ve checked her instagram fifty-four times since you landed in Springfield. You’re obsessed with her and _that’s_ why you moved here.”

Jan’s throat tightened and she wished the floor would open up and swallow her whole. “No, no, because that would be crazy and I am not crazy. Crystal and I dated for a few months when we were sixteen, I barely know her,” she insisted. “I moved here for work and Crystal just happened to be here!” she paused to try to collect herself. “I mean, yes, she’s the one that mentioned Springfield when I ran into her. And yes, when I ran into her, it made me feel happy, like glitter was exploding inside of me, and…” Her eyes widened and her face paled. “Oh my god, I’m crazy. I-I’m crazy and stupid and horrible and–” 

Brita gripped Jan’s arms firmly and looked into her eyes. “Hey, do _not_ talk about my new friend like that,” she snapped, then waited for the younger woman’s expression to soften. “Sweetie, you’re not crazy. I get it now. You’re just in love.” 

“I’m your friend?” Jan asked, brows knitted. “I thought you hated me.”

Brita shook her head. “I hated that you _lied_ to me, silly.”

“Oh, okay, cool,” she smiled, only for her face to drop almost instantly. “Also, I’m not in love, I just told you I–”

“Shh,” Brita put a finger to Jan’s lips. “You don’t have to defend yourself against destiny, you’re so brave for pursuing it. This is the start of a beautiful love story! And I’m gonna make it happen for you.” 

Jan smiled warmly. “You are?” 

Brita nodded brightly. “Of course, honey,” she noticed Jan’s eyes drift to her phone while she spoke. “What’s up?” 

Color rushed back to Jan’s face as she pulled her phone out of her pocket, eager to make sure she read her screen correctly. “It’s Crystal. She wants to know if I wanna get lunch with her sometime.” The two coworkers – now friends – squealed in delight before scrambling to figure out how to word her reply perfectly. 

It wasn’t until after she sent it that Jan’s face fell. “Wait… Crystal has a girlfriend. Her friend, who I met once and definitely did not almost hook up with, mentioned it.” 

Brita shrugged. “Haven’t you ever seen a romantic comedy? They always have a girlfriend in the beginning. Don’t worry about that,” she assured. “Besides, I’m sure she’s not that great.”


	2. Crystal’s Girlfriend is Really Cool!

It had been three days since Crystal had texted Jan, and Jan was getting frustrated at the lack of follow-up. She and Brita had visited most, if not all of the spots Crystal frequented, but to no avail. And now Jan was out for a jog, hoping to either clear her mind or have a breakthrough with a new idea. But all she got was a leg cramp and a strong pang of hunger. 

There was a convenience store towards the end of the block, so Jan decided to do a quick shop. She wanted to get home right after and take a shower, flushed red and drenched in sweat from her run, she knew she must’ve looked like a hot mess. 

Jan started to walk down the snack aisle, but instantly backed out and hid. “Oh, come on,” she whined to herself before carefully peering back into the aisle. Sure enough, Crystal was there and oblivious to Jan’s presence, much to her relief in her given state. “Wait, who’s that?” 

A woman walked up to Crystal and wrapped her arms around her from behind. The first thing Jan noticed was that this woman – this unfairly gorgeous woman – was dressed entirely inappropriately for a trip to the convenience store. This woman was dressed for a high-end cocktail party, wearing a little red dress and black stilettos with hair that must’ve had taken at least an hour to style. She didn’t seem to belong in Missouri at all.

“Yeah, that’s Nicky,” a familiar voice pulled Jan from her thoughts.

“Fuck, how long have you been standing there?” Jan jumped slightly, putting her hand to her chest.

Gigi shrugged. “Not as long as you’ve been staring, I imagine,” she mused, then looked Jan over. “What happened to you? You look like hell.”

Jan huffed, crossing her arms with a pout. “I went on a run, thank you very much. I did a whole… half a mile.” 

“Oh shit, didn’t realize you were training for a triathlon,” she teased. 

“You too?” another woman, presumably one of Gigi’s friends, chimed in out of seemingly nowhere. “What’s your routine? I’m pretty sure I’ve got mine down, but-”

“It was a joke, Kameron,” Gigi cut her off.

Kameron wasn’t alone either, as a shorter brunette joined her side. “Who’s your friend, Gigi?” she asked. “This the girl from the party you was talkin’ about?”

Jan smirked as she looked from Gigi’s friends back to her. “You were talking about me?” she asked, twirling her ponytail around her finger. 

“Never,” she retorted dryly. “Jan, let me introduce you to two friends, one brain cell. This is Kameron and Vanessa.” 

“Vanjie.”

Gigi rolled her eyes. “She goes by Vanjie.” 

Jan offered the two of them a bright smile. “So nice to meet you guys,” she said, though her attention started to shift when she heard the click of high heels on linoleum getting louder and the conversation between Crystal and Nicky entered earshot. 

“Who’s the sweaty girl with Gigi?” Nicky asked with perturbed confusion. 

“What?” Crystal looked where her girlfriend was pointing. “Jan?”

“You know her?”

Crystal swallowed thickly, her eyes darting back and forth between Nicky and Jan. “No! I mean yes. I mean… kind of?”

“Kind of?” Gigi chimed in. “I thought you guys were friends.” 

“We are,” Jan jumped in to assure. “It’s just been a while since we saw each other at summer camp,” she explained, happy to be able to tell the truth. “It’s been a while, we were–”

“Ten!” Crystal abruptly cut in. “That’s why the details are a little hazy, you know? It’s been so long.” 

Jan furrowed her brows and looked at Crystal with a mix of hurt and confusion on her face. She tried to meet her eyes, hoping she’d explain, but to no avail – Crystal wasn’t looking at her at all, her eyes were fixed on Nicky. 

Nicky did look skeptical, though she didn’t say so. “Well, you did smoke away most of your brain cells, I guess that makes sense,” she decided, watching as her girlfriend’s entire body relaxed in relief. Then her attention shifted to Jan, whom she offered a polite smile. “So nice to meet you,” she said, offering her hand out – not to shake, it was more like she was presenting it on display. 

Not that Jan questioned it; she surmised that it fit the way Nicky carried herself. “The pleasure’s all mine,” she chirped, taking her hand and kissing the back of it. 

“What is it that you _do_?” Nicky questioned as she looked her over. 

“Jan’s a lawyer!” Crystal jumped in yet again, though this time it appeared to be in Jan’s defense. “You just started at a firm out here, right?”

Jan nodded, ignoring the way her chest was still aching. “Yeah, it’s been going super well so far. What about you, Nicky?” 

“I am a professional hairstylist,” she answered stiffly. “I do Beyoncé’s personal trainer’s sister’s hair, it’s very high-profile.” 

Both Gigi and Crystal, with slight grimaces, had opened their mouths to say something, but Jan cut right in. “Really? Oooh, how fun! You should totally let me know if you’re ever taking new clients.” 

Crystal winced and once again tried to interject, but Nicky answered before she could. “I do think I can fit you in, as a courtesy at least. Since you are a friend of Crystal’s,” she told her, then rifled through her purse until she pulled out a business card and handed it to Jan. 

While neither Jan nor Nicky had noticed how Crystal was stressing out and Kameron and Vanessa had long since wandered off, Gigi noticed and cocked her head to the side so Crystal would follow her down the next aisle. “What’s up with you?” 

“Nothing!” Crystal insisted. “I just… don’t think it’s a good idea for Jan and Nicky to be friends. You know how she gets.” 

“I guess,” Gigi shrugged. “But Jan seems pretty non-threatening, it’s not like you guys fucked or anything, right?” 

She swallowed thickly. “Right. Because we only knew each other as kids and that would be weird,” she reminded herself, not wanting to forget the lie she’d established. 

Her friend was dubious, but allowed it to slide. “So… Jan is definitely available, then?” 

Crystal’s eyes lit up, this was _perfect_. “She is. Are you into her, Geege? Because you should ask her out, she’s great. And you’re great. So it would be, you know, great.” 

Gigi shrugged, glancing down. “I dunno,” she told her, though a slight smile tugged at her lips. “Maybe.” 

Before Crystal could argue her case further, Nicky rounded the corner. “Crystal, come on, we’re gonna be late,” she whined. 

“We better go,” Crystal said to Gigi. “But think about what I said.”

### 

Jan looked at her phone – 12:48 pm. She was a bit early for her hair appointment, by no accident. As soon as she stepped inside, she wanted to try to fit in a bit of a tour. 

The salon reminded Jan of the one she would visit during the winter break she had spent in Beverly Hills. It was clean and chic and everyone who worked there could’ve moonlighted as a Victoria’s Secret model. Normally, she wasn’t intimidated by that, but she found herself cutting her tour short as anxiety started twisting her stomach into knots. Sure, she was used to the high-end life, but that didn’t make her ‘cool’. Jan didn’t know how to be cool – her ideal Friday night consisted of Chinese food, a bottle of wine, and her library of bootleg musicals. 

But Nicky? Nicky oozed cool out of every invisible pore. It sent Jan back to her middle school days when she would see the popular kids and silently yearned to unlock the secrets to social acceptance. And while thirteen-year-old Jan had found the answer when she started high school without braces and with newly-developed D-cups, things were far less simple in adulthood. 

“Jan?” The girl at the front desk pulled her back into reality. “You can go ahead and take the middle chair. Nicky will be right with you.” 

Jan nodded and thanked her as she moved to take her seat. By the time Nicky made her way over, her racing thoughts had slowed to a walking pace, something she was eternally grateful for. 

“Your hair is so thick and smooth,” Nicky observed, a hint of surprise in her tone. “You’re Italian?”

“Half Italian, half Jewish,” she confirmed. “Lots of hair on both sides.” 

“I could tell from your arms,” she remarked offhandedly, but by then she was massaging shampoo into Jan’s scalp, rendering her too blissed out to register the comment. 

Jan was entranced almost instantly, and she understood why Nicky worked at the only salon in Springfield with a near five-star rating. She had gotten actual massages that were less satisfying, and she was already certain she would be happy with any final result. “So, how long have you and Crystal been together?” she asked after a brief silence, curious as to how her answer would compare to Gigi’s.

“Since I moved here in the tenth grade,” Nicky answered. “Not consistently, but that isn’t the important thing.” 

“Yeah, ‘cause you’re together now,” Jan murmured through gritted teeth, regretting bringing it up in the first place and deciding to change the subject. “This place is so nice, how long have you worked here?”

Nicky was too focused on Jan’s hair to notice the shift in tone. “About a year and a half, I cannot complain, but the goal is to open my own salon. I even think I can poach some of these girls to come with me,” she told her. “But securing a space is impossible.”

“I work in real estate law, you’re preaching to the choir,” she nodded, though her mind was already doing a speedrun of ideas. This was the ‘in’ she needed, how she could win Nicky’s favor and be her friend.

The comment didn’t connect the dots for Nicky, who finished Jan’s hair and spun her around. “And we’re done, what do you think?”

Jan gasped, her eyes bright and wide. It wasn’t an act, she was genuinely impressed with what Nicky had done. She had only trimmed a couple of inches off, but the styling was pristine, she never wanted to wash her hair again because she was afraid she could never get it back to this. “It’s gorgeous, oh my God.” As she got up and paid her, she added “Don’t stop thinking about getting your own salon, in fact, text me the info about the space you’re trying to secure,” with a wink. 

Nicky’s intrigue outweighed her trepidation. “I guess you can give it your best shot, then. Landlord’s a real asshole, though.”

### 

Brita eagerly led Jan into an empty conference room and set a folder down on the table. “Okay, so, what’s the plan? Before you say anything, I already looked it up and we can’t deport her to France unless we frame her for murder.” 

Jan shut the door behind her and rushed to Brita’s side with concern and confusion. “What the hell are you talking about? No one’s being deported or framed for murder or… seriously, what the hell are you talking about?” 

“Isn’t that what you were up to at your little hair appointment? Getting close to Nicky to find her weaknesses and exploit them to get her out of the picture? Everyone overshares at hair salons, it’s just how it works,” she explained as she opened the folder up. “I printed out all of the important social media posts dating back from when she started dating Crystal.”

“Brita, that’s eleven years’ worth of posts!” 

She scoffed. “And? Do you want your happy ending with Crystal or not? Nicky is an obstacle in your way, she is the _enemy_.”

Jan rolled her eyes. “I don’t want her to be the enemy. I like her. She’s so cool and pretty and she smells nice and–”

Brita grabbed Jan by the shoulders and shook her. “Listen to yourself! This isn’t the Jan and Nicky love story, it’s the Jan and Crystal love story. The last thing you need to do is go all starry-eyed over, and I cannot stress this enough, Crystal’s _girlfriend_.”

“Okay, so, I get that you wanna help and I really appreciate it, but I promise I totally have this under control. You keep working on your plans, I’m sure they’re great.”

She sighed and let go of Jan. “I’m sorry, I know I’m intense and everything, but I just really like you and want to help you. I’ve always wanted a daughter, you know? I have a fourteen year old son, and he’s an asshole.” 

Jan’s expression softened. “Aw, I didn’t realize… but that’s sweet, and it’d be nice to have a mother figure that isn’t massively disappointed in me right now. Don’t ask, it’s a story for another day.” Ideally that day would never come, but she didn’t expect Brita to let her off the hook on that either. “On that note, um, don’t get mad, but I’m getting brunch with Nicky tomorrow. But it’s a business brunch.”

“A business brunch?” Brita looked at her skeptically.

“I’m helping her get her own salon. The landlord’s a jerk but he’s only like, a four out of ten compared to what I’ve dealt with. And…” she strummed her fingers against the table as she tried to think on her feet. “Think of it this way – if she’s busy at her own salon, she’ll have less time with Crystal.”

Brita beamed and cupped Jan’s face, squishing her cheeks. “There’s that Harvard-Columbia brain at work, I knew you had a plan. You didn’t need to worry me like that, missy.” 

Jan pressed her lips into a fine line and nodded. “It won’t happen again.”

### 

Jan tried to keep her conversation with Brita in mind when she was out to brunch with Nicky, she really did put in an effort. But then she found out mid-mimosa that they got the location for the salon and Nicky showered her with gracious praise and it all went out the window. Jan’s latent praise kink and overwhelming desire to win Nicky over was more than enough to keep her from heeding Brita’s warning. 

So, it didn’t end at business brunch. They wound up back at Jan’s house, talking, laughing, drinking, as if they had been friends this whole time. And Jan was becoming more and more convinced that in the end, she could have the best of both worlds – she could have Crystal as her girlfriend and Nicky as her bestie. There was no downside in that, right? 

“Have you heard of The Nebula?” Nicky asked as she set the glass down on the coffee table, “It’s this cool, exclusive club downtown. Crystal and I were planning on going tomorrow night, you should come.” 

Jan nearly spilled her drink with how quickly she perked up. She almost couldn’t believe this had worked so well and so fast. “Really? Oh my god, yeah, that’d be so much fun. I am _such_ a club girl.”

“You’re so fun,” Nicky giggled, resting her head on Jan’s shoulder. “I love how fun you are, we’re gonna have the best time ever. You’re totally not the cunty east coast bitch I thought you’d be.”

“Aw, thank you!” Jan hugged Nicky from the side. 

Nicky had ended up staying into the late afternoon, waiting until she was sober enough to take care of some things at the salon, but happily reminded Jan several times over that they would be going to The Nebula the next day at nine.

### 

“Alright, are you gonna tell me what’s on your mind or not?” Crystal prompted as she watched Gigi absentmindedly clean the same glass for the third time. 

Gigi looked up, finally putting the glass away and tossing the towel over her shoulder. “You know damn well I try to keep my head empty at any given moment.” 

Even though Crystal might have agreed at times, she wouldn’t take that as an answer. “Come on, you’ve been weird ever since we all ran into each other at the store the other day.” 

“I just…” she hesitated, chewing on her lip. “What’s her deal, anyway?” 

“Who?”

“Jan.”

Crystal smirked. “See? I knew you liked her. You never act like that around girls like you did at the store. I don’t know what the hold-up is, she’s cool.” 

Gigi snorted. “Cool isn’t the word I’d use, babe,” she retorted dryly, then added, “you sure she’s not into you?” 

“What? Of course not. I told you already, we were kids, remember?” Despite how comically suspicious her voice was, Gigi didn’t push her any further, so she continued. “Hey, Jan’s coming with us to Nebula tonight. You should come, it could be like a cute double date.” 

After a bit of hesitation, Gigi nodded. “Yeah, alright. My shift ended ten minutes ago anyway, I just gotta get home and change.” 

The four of them met at Jan’s house, as she lived the closest to downtown, and took an Uber (Jan happily upgraded them to the best option) to the club. Considering they were four attractive women in mini dresses, they were granted entry easily and went right to ordering rounds of drinks. 

It only took a few drinks to get Crystal and Nicky on the dance floor, giggling and grinding to the beat. But Nicky stopped after a couple minutes when she realized Jan and Gigi were still lingering awkwardly at the table, and simply had to remedy that. She jogged back to the table and grabbed both of them by the arm. “Come on, Jan, dance with Gigi,” she insisted, pushing them together. 

“I didn’t expect you to come,” Jan admitted as she draped her arms around Gigi’s neck. “This doesn’t seem like your scene. Like, you probably think the music is too generic and the drinks are too sweet.”

“Well, both of those things are true.” Gigi rested her hands on Jan’s waist, the two of them doing the bare minimum to count as dancing. “But Crystal dragged me out and I thought it might be fun to watch you get drunk and make an ass out of yourself.”

Jan scoffed. Sure, she was a lightweight and already tipsy, but she thought she could ignore it if she tried hard enough. “Why don’t you get me another drink then, Captain Cynical?” 

“Oh, I’m a captain? Here I thought I was just Lieutenant Cynical,” she teased, then let go of her to go to the bar. 

While Jan was waiting, Nicky came back over and pulled her to dance with her and Crystal. “You and Gigi look good together,” Nicky remarked. 

“You’d look good with anyone,” Jan mused playfully. “Oh my god, if _we_ hooked up, we’d all be even!” She gasped, gesturing between the three of them and giggling at what she thought was a funny observation. 

But Nicky and Crystal all but froze in their tracks. “What do you mean by that?” 

Jan glanced at Crystal, suddenly remembering the lie she’d helped commit to. “I just, um…” To her relief, Gigi had rejoined them at that moment. “Oh good, you’re back!” She quickly took the drink and started to down it. 

“No, no, tell me what you meant by that,” Nicky insisted. 

Realizing she had been caught, Jan thought the only option was to tell the truth. “I meant, well, you and Crystal are together, and we, um… used to be…” 

“You both said you weren’t,” Gigi cut in. “You both _insisted_ you weren’t. What the fuck?”

“I just didn’t wanna make things weird!” Crystal defended. “But… yeah… Jan and I were actually sixteen when we met and um… did stuff.”

Nicky’s face reddened with anger. “I can’t believe you both lied to me!” She turned to Crystal. “We are leaving and will be talking about this. And you,” she turned to Jan, “just stay away from us.” 

Although Jan tried to object and plead her case, Nicky was already storming out of the club with Crystal in tow, leaving her alone with Gigi. “Don’t say it. Don’t fucking say it.” 

“For a Harvard-Columbia grad, you’re kind of stupid, aren’t you?” 

Jan pouted and nodded. 

“Do you want me to take you home?”

Jan nodded again. 

Gigi wrapped her arm around Jan’s shoulders and walked her out of the club and got into an Uber with her once it arrived. 

The ride was quiet, enough so that by the time they arrived at Jan’s house, she was asleep with her head in Gigi’s lap. 

Being rail-thin and fragile looking in comparison, Gigi struggled carrying Jan into the house and placing her on the couch. “God, you’re more trouble than you’re worth,” she muttered to herself before taking the blanket off the back of the couch and draping it over Jan. 

Just as Gigi was in the middle of contemplating if she should stay or leave, Jan started to wake up. “Ah, it lives.” 

Jan looked around, slowly realizing that she was on her couch, and that Gigi tucked her in. She pushed herself to sit up a bit. “Um… thank you, you know, for helping me in. You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to, I know you’re probably pissed at me too.” 

“Oh, I am,” Gigi readily assured. “But you look like a sad baby deer, so I can’t just abandon you, I guess,” she decided. “You need help getting to bed, Bambi?” 

“Please,” Jan mumbled. The two of them went upstairs and Jan stepped into the bathroom to get changed and wash her face. Then once again, Gigi tucked her into bed. 

Once Jan was sound asleep, Gigi went downstairs and crashed on the couch. But she woke up early in the morning and left without a trace. Without the alcohol softening her heart, she found herself mad at the fact that she so easily overlooked what Jan did in favor of taking care of her. And what was worse was that she still liked her. 

When Jan woke up, she went downstairs, only to find her house empty. She felt a pang of disappointment, only to perk up at a knock on the door. “Gigi?” No answer, so with another wave of hopefulness she asked “Crystal?” as she opened the door. 

“How funny, Gigi and Crystal are exactly who we need to talk about,” Brita huffed as she walked inside. “You are skating on thin ice,” she warned, walking Jan to the couch and sitting down. “What happened last night?” 

Jan sighed. “Nicky found out Crystal and I were together and now she hates me and Gigi took me home. That’s it.” 

Brita pinched the bridge of her nose. “I was afraid of this,” she muttered and took a deep breath. “It’s fine, we just need a new plan.”


End file.
